“Everybody wants a piece of me! Now I know what Britney Spears feels like.”
Working for a church is definitely a ride! As a church secretary, I often get pulled in a lot of different directions all at the same time. When that happens, I often shout out that opening phrase and fill in the blank with which ever teeny bopper star I can think of at the time. I often used Britney Spears or Justin Bieber.
Some of the crazy things that have happened to me and/or duties (that I hope to further discuss on this blog) include, but not limited to:
Having first dibs on lost and found items
Being the only one that can work the copy machine
Church staff think that you are all-knowing
Screwing up the weekly bulletin
Being asked to look up a phone numbers for random people
A church member once asked me to help track down her estranged husband over the internet
Hearing over the phone/in person all the complaints
Having to have the gift of interpretation
Having to have mind reading/ prophetic capabilities
Proofreading
Finding the oddest office supplies
Babysitting random kids that either belong to one of the pastors or to someone in a counseling appointment
Being a pit-bull (screen) to every tom, dick and harry that come in to see one of the pastors
Getting random phone calls on my cell at random times about random stuff
Always having to know everything about everything (google is my best friend)
Always having to know where all the pastors and staff are at all times
For church service on Sunday, I come in late and leave early (I get so much flack for this). If not, I will be asked stupid questions or given stupid comments like:
Why hasn’t the pastor returned my call?
Why did you say _______ book was available in the bookstore? I checked and it’s not.
Can you open this classroom?
Can you make copies of this for me? (something personal for a congregation member and totally irrelevant to church business--he's just trying to bum a free copy)
Have you found _______ in the lost and found box {I reply with, “no”} they insist on following me around and talking about how it surely has to be somewhere, until I find it
I'm not superwoman, and I don't do all of these things. And when I don't, I hear lots of complaints.
Thank God I have a sense of humor.
